Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Truth in Love

So I have been thinking a lot on Ephesians 4:15 which talks about speaking the truth in love. Recently, I had an encounter with some people I had not seen in a while and two of these people particularly accosted (for a lack of a better word) me in regards to my relationship with God and my calling. One of these people proceeded to yell at me, out of what I perceived to be frustration, because he believed that I have "walked away from God" because I am no longer in the same place that I was a few years ago. I harbor no hard feelings towards this person and I hope that one day we could sit down to have a civil discussion on what God is doing in both of our lives. However, this conversation got me thinking about that verse in Ephesians.

So what does it mean to speak the truth in love? I suppose we would have to define some terms to fully understand. First, what is "the truth" that is being mentioned here? There are alot of truths, such as I am alive; I ate food today that my body will break down into usable nutrients and harmful waste products; or that the earth rotates on an axis which causes the passage of measurable time; ect. This is all true, but is it what Paul is talking about? I'm not sure. The context of the verse is in regards to us no longer being infants but to grow in God and speak the truth in love as Christ is our example. So, logically, the truth we are to speak is to be the same truth that Christ spoke and we are to do it in love as Christ spoke. So I guess that leads me to the gospels.

It's funny how I can read these four books and get one thing and another person can read these books and gleam a different message. My friend that I mentioned earlier would probably, now I'm only assuming based on what I know about him, say that the truth Christ spoke in love is about an eternal salvation from hell into a relationship with God on earth and into eternity in heaven. Many people who I know would agree that this is the stripped down truth of the Gospels, the "good news." And I fully believe that they can back that belief up with scriptures, even if I don't necessarily agree with that idea myself. I'm not really sure that I believe that Jesus was as interested in the "afterlife" as we tend to make him out to be. I think his message of truth in love was more focused on heaven, here and now. Perhaps I am mistaken on my reading and I'm reading these ancient stories through a lens that fits comfortably with my conscience, so I am more than willing to admit where I am wrong and to change when confronted with true truth.

I feel I have strayed from my point and if you are still reading this, then I apologize and will try to wrap it soon. I guess what I am getting at is that we, myself at the top of the list, need to work on speaking the truth in love. I know that speaking in love does not always mean softening your words or holding back correction, but I believe there is a way to speak a harsh truth lovingly so that it can be received and you won't be a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. I'm a school teacher and I often have to correct my student's behavior and more times than not, I don't speak in love. It's a lot easier to speak out of anger, frustration, or a place of smug arrogance because I know I'm in the right. I think the latter is where a lot of people go wrong. I heard someone say that since they've started preaching this "stop going to hell" gospel, a lot of their friends have been offended and are no longer friends. I wonder if they were really offended by the gospel being preached or by the preacher (the one preaching the gospel, not necessarily a preacher at a church) being an asshole. I don't want to be an ass to my students, to my friends, my neighbors or anyone really, yet I often come across as one. That's the hard part I guess. When you believe that you have the truth or that you are in the right, then it's really easy to come from an arrogant position and thus you are not speaking in love. Humility is the key.

Alright, I don't feel that I am really going anywhere with this, so I will try to bring it to some kind of conclusion, if there is one to be found. How do I speak the truth in love? How do I make it clear that because of the way that you and I live, 30,000 children will die today due to preventable poverty related issues? I know that I must first speak the truth by example. I need to change the way I live to line up with truth and then I need to learn to come from a place of humility when trying to bring others in to a life of truth. Gandhi's whole life was based around truth and the search for truth, which he believed was God. I need that kind of life. I think before any of us can speak to others, we need to speak to ourselves. It probably won't be easy. It's always easier to see the wrong in others than in yourself, but it has to start with us as individuals. It has to start with me. So I'm sorry when I have not spoken out of love. I'm sorry for caring more about me than I do anyone else. I've got nothing....

If you want to dialogue about this, please email me or call me. I'd love to go get a beer or tea and sit and discuss, lovingly, what the hell we are all doing in this mess of a world we've inherited. But I especially want to know how we are going do what we can to fix the mess. adam@tolstoyhouse.com

P.S. - Paul's Boutique by Beastie Boys is really damn good.

4 comments:

  1. Greetings mighty APS. Of course I enjoyed reading your post. You and James are two people I have always admired. Get on Facebook.

    Mike Welge
    Hickory, NC

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  2. hah! you should get on facebook. you can use a mask and a fake name so your students won't find you

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  3. I got that speech too bro. Sorry to hear that. Did they say that you had done irrepairable damage to the kindgom of God? That was my favorite part of mine.

    Richie Lunsford
    Bedford, TX

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